Mouthfuls: How to say "no" without saying NO - Mouthfuls

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How to say "no" without saying NO Or in other words, help a lost puppy find their way

#1 TaliesinNYC

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 01:22 AM

Without going into a lot of details (mostly because the premise of this thread is work-related), how do you say "no" without going overboard?

Being assertive is something I'm not used to. It's a little daunting.

#2 splinky

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 01:28 AM

i usually just say "that's sooo not gonna happen". every boss can respect that

“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no!', I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”
~Jack Handey

*proud descendant of cheese eating surrender monkeys*

#3 ghostrider

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 01:31 AM

How can you say no to a lost puppy?

It was hard to avoid the feeling that somebody, somewhere, was missing the point. I couldn't even be sure that it wasn't me. - Douglas Adams

Please come visit my rock concert blog: Tantalized.

#4 Liza

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 01:42 AM

Be direct, and firm, but not apologetic. You need to be factual and not emotional. You can do this!

“And another thing. You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much.

Really, people will tell you all kinds of garbage. Don't believe it.

You don't have to move on until you're ready.”

#5 splinky

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 01:45 AM

if that fails, you have to scream out "you're not the boss of me!" at the top of your lungs

#6 Liza

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 01:55 AM

QUOTE(splinky @ Jan 30 2010, 11:45 PM)

if that fails, you have to scream out "you're not the boss of me!" at the top of your lungs

What Splinky said.

#7 TaliesinNYC

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 02:36 AM

It's not my boss(es) I have to worry about but our clients.

#8 TaliesinNYC

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 02:41 AM

It's now 9:30 pm. I could've left here at 7:30 if I'd managed to put my foot down earlier this afternoon.

I'm having a little talk with a partner tomorrow ... hopefully I can find a way out of this.

#9 Squeat Mungry

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 03:05 AM

You say, "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

It is a pretty poem, Mr. Pope, but you must not call it Homer. -- Richard Bentley

#10 splinky

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 03:13 AM

or "that is against the prime directive, i'm sorry but i don't make the rules"

#11 TaliesinNYC

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 04:09 AM

Yup, easy in hindsight.

I wish I'd had this conversation earlier while I was in training. Oops.

#12 Ron Johnson

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 12:24 PM

easy, stop working in a law firm.

#13 prasantrin

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 01:05 PM

I like the Japanese ways of saying no. There are two styles, so choose the one which best fits your situation.

1) Ignore the request. This is primarily useful for requests not made in person. Or if the request is made in person, tell the person you need to think about it, then never get back to them.

or

2) Frown a little, act like you're thinking really hard, take a deep sigh, then say a little slowly, "Hmmmm. . . It's difficult. . . " If the person making the request sticks around, continue frowning and sighing. Throw in a "hmmmm. . ." once in a while, and they'll eventually get the hint and leave. Sometimes it might take several minutes of frowning and sighing, but it eventually works.

They both work. Really!

#14 foodie52

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 01:07 PM

prasantrin: you forgot the part where you have to suck air through your teeth and say "ahno......."

Visit our website to see what our nonprofit does...Friends of Colombian Orphans

#15 prasantrin

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Posted 06 February 2010 - 10:38 AM

QUOTE(foodie52 @ Feb 2 2010, 10:07 PM)