you should just start taking your clothes off in court. i mean, you like to do that kind of thing anyway, so why not make it work for you for a change?

You can espouse the death penalty for misdemeanors, or say, "I'm sorry, I can't be objective about this because _____________."

Or be super religous and lie.

Or marry a cop. That usually works!

i cannot retire early.

Thanks for correcting me. I had no idea -- it's been about 3 years since I was last called.

Actually, I love jury duty. I get a lot of reading done, and now I can even bring work with me so that I can bill for the time I sit there. And best of all, I always run into someone I haven't seen in years and years; one time the re-meeting led to work for Paul at a client that has since repeated several times, all with interesting projects.

One of my relatives who lives in CA is a jury-selection specialist lawyer and has a stock line for when he really really really doesn't want to be on a jury. It begins, 'Judge, you know that bit about matters of law and matters of fact, as some one who has a Phd in the sociology of law, I was just wondering....' Apparently it works pretty well... I think he's served plenty of times too, which must make for an interesting juryroom. Here in Britain the paucity of jury trials makes it very rare for people to be called, I only know one person who has been. I don't know if this a good thing or not.

I took a verdict in the Bronx week before last. I seem to recall the judge telling the jury when he discharged them that they were free for six years. It could be that with the full implementation of the no-exemptions regime the time between being called is getting longer. I also believe that if you get called for federal court, you can extend the time between your state call-ups. By the way, federal court never had the long list of exemptions the New York courts used to have. I remember being very surprised the first time I encountered lawyers on the panel.

A lawyer on a jury does seem a little strange to me, now that you mention it. I'm not sure why.

These send me your bank info so I can steal your money letters are evolving (I wonder if anyone is keeping track of how they're changing). Notice how this one ties together the tsunami, cancer, and Africa. It came from a purported MSN email account, but the one in the text is a .ro address (is that Romania?).

Dear friend,
My name is Mrs. Mary-Ann Williams, a wife of late Mr. George Williams, an American Businessman based in West Indonesia. I got your contact through the listed postal address in your country. I lost my husband to the international disaster in West Indonesia (the Tsunami attack) and I am also in the hospital receiving treatment after the exposure to the hard conditions of the Tsunami. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer .It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.
My Late husband and I before is death once asked members of his family to close one of our accounts and distribute the money which he had there to charity organization in Ethiopia and Somalia; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what we have left for them.
The last of my money, which no one knows of, is secured in a security film in Europe worth US$15,000,000.00 (Fifteen million United States dollars only) and secretly defaced and is coded for security reasons; this could be released at short notice when a willing and acceptable partner emerges.
I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations. I will give you more details when I get your assurance and willingness to help me in this my present state of predicament please send to me the following details below:
Requirements:
Name in full
Contact home address
Tel/Fax#
I have set aside 20% for you and for your time as well as any expenses incurred during this process. Get back to me A.S.A.P.
Please reply to my private Email:maryannwilliams8@personal.ro
Regards,
Mrs Mary-Ann Williams.

I'm annoyed I got a cold that has been going around. Caused me to miss an interesting training at work, and more significantly, a culinary expedition with several other intrepid explorers.

The only good thing about it was that a coworker brought me Kleenex on her way home as she lives 1 block away and I had run out. That was beyond cool.

I actually have to work tomorrow. And I have no one to blame but myself considering I created the holiday schedule for the client I'm on-site at.

Oh Maurice, get better, think a lot, and please, may you live long and prosper.

¡Cien años!

This farce seems to get repeated on a monthly basis. 30 emails this morning, half asking to be removed from some distribution list, the other half asking everyone else not to reply to the whole list. Is it some kind of pavlovian response that when one person sends a "please remove me" email everyone else decides to jump on the band wagon?

Loud, piercing construction noise literally right outside my office window--someone cutting bricks in half with a circular saw.

I wish I could leave every time the fucking bagpipe player starts bleating thirty floors below.

Speedy recovery from me too, Maurice.

This is an annoyance crossed with "oh shit"...I had thyroid surgery last Tuesday and got the pathology report today. Cancer (that's the "oh shit" part), but small and highly treatable with radiation.

The annoyance is three days in the hospital while radioactive and I won't be able to see my kids. Grrrr.

Heather, more wishes for a speedy and complete recovery.

Heather, I'm so sorry to hear this. On the other hand, my 75-yr-old aunt went throught the same thing two years ago and has had a complete and clean recovery. But back to the first hand – she didn't have small children to be kept from.

Bon Courage!

Speedy recovery wishes to both Maurice and Heather.

I never do this. Why did I sit on that bench without looking down?

Best wishes to Maurice and Heather for speedy recoveries.

Whoever does it, and god forbid I should hold any opinion on that, isn't it easier, cheaper and more efficient to do it all together - colors permitting?

The laundry struggle is a microcosm of the power struggle in the relationship. Take it from me, former wife of someone who always threw his socks on the floor instead of in the hamper. I guess he was waiting for me to turn into his mommy and pick up after him.

I'vw always wondered about these men who are seeking mother figures in their significant others. I've spent most of my adult life trying to escape my mother, the last thing I need is another one.

Hey, their mothers spoil them. It's cushy, they get used to it, are loath to give it up.

I hope you don't think for one minute that I ever caved and picked up the damn socks.

And we all know how cats adore dirty laundry. Especially socks and underwear.