And the bastards never showed up.

don't forget to mention that the magazines are always from 1998.

I like the doctors who beckon you from the doorway to the consulting rooms, then vanish, so that by the time you have put down your book or magazine, changed your reading glasses for regular, picked up your coat and closed your bag, you have no idea where they are waiting.

Oh, did you try to cross Fifth Avenue? Did you happen to come upon the ladies who wandered into the lobby of my office building looking for the public restroom?

Oooh, I hate this. I assume there will be no need for the Sears dispatcher to visit a proctologist for awhile?

I almost had to give my DH CPR a week ago when Purolator failed to deliver something he'd been anxiously waiting for. Supposedly they had tried - but if they did, they did not leave a card. Then he found out the item was on the brink of being "returned to sender", despite his having called several times looking for it. Then they attempted to deliver it during a three-hour window when he had specifically told them he would NOT be home, left a card saying it would be at the depot any time after 4:00 p.m., and when we got to the depot at 6:00 we were told, "oh, it must still be on the truck." Which was parked in the lot with dozens of other indistinguishable trucks, no driver, no keys.

I was sitting in someone's office just off 5th around lunchtime and got treated to bagpipe renditions of "When the Caissons Go Rolling Along", "Over There", and "Yankee Doodle Dandy" (aka "World War I's Greatest Hits")

If you'll just sign this 2 year contract extension, we'll give you a new "free" phone.

word

word up

is full tilt the same as lying down?

Depends on the elevator. Try jumping up at floor 6 (or is it 4?) when descending in the elevators at the St. Francis hotel. Awfully funny to be greeted when the elevator doors open by folks in evening dress lying around on the elevator floor holding their sides from laughing.

Funny you should say that, I was on the phone in the lobby of my university building last night and was about to get on the elevator and told my friend I would call him back. I realized at that moment that one of my overriding urges in life is not to be "That Guy." I don't think that's such a bad urge

I see your soccer and raise you . . .

a kareoke machine.
One of the people in a building across the courtyard has one of these wonders. Thursday night I listened to a bunch of drunk girls butcher Gloria Gaynor and the Backstreet Boys. They were still going strong when I fell asleep at midnight. Even with my windows closed I could here every word, and they are not even in my building.

Really. Someone explain why Microsoft would create a word processing program that randomly reformats paragraphs. Is it to increase the suspense?

I'll see your chewing gum and raise you one dog shit. An absolute mess especially if ones soles are grooved.

i think we are part of a controlled test to see how much shit we are willing to endure before escaping to better, cheaper options.

The same reason it's been cranked up in my office all day.

Word should be outlawed. Can't that be done, somehow? Or can Gates buy Wordperfect and name it Word?

Hmm. Maybe all the users of Word can get together and buy WordPerfect -- since Word is a monopoly, it should only cost $.63 for everyone in the world -- and we can give WordPerfect to Microsoft and then Microsoft can still have its monopoly, but with a decent product.

i find it incredibly annoying that she didn't list all these annoyances here as separate entries. people like her are the problem.

Apparently, you have no love for irony.