for me the issue is that, more and more, people don't seem to pay attention to the world around them, or the people in it. You can see it when someone is walking down a crowded street during rush hour looking at their blackberry, so everyone is forced to move around them or get plowed into; or when people don't have the basic courtesy to hold the door for someone else, whether male or female; or when pregnant women (or parents with young children!) are standing in a crowded subway car; or at how badly people drive without paying attention to the other drivers on the road. It's a shame that as the world gets increasingly smaller, we have less and less regard for the people around us. Even if they are strangers. Or tourists. (except, damn- do they have to ALWAYS be in my way? )

I find that all the possibly-interpreted-as-sexist "manners" are so ingrained in me (my mother was both thorough and exacting) that I often have to try very hard to battle my instincts when I sense they will be unwelcome or inappropriate.

That said, some of my lady-friends I have known the longest swear that they love it when I hold doors for them, walk curbside on the sidewalk, lead them up and follow them down stairways, etc.

Cheers,

Neil

i am confused by the constant reference to "ladies" in this discussion. there are ladies on mouthfuls? who are they and why have i never received pm's from them?

I am big on opening doors for people behind me, and letting men open doors for me, if they like, but I would never be a ballbuster about it if a man failed to do so.

My friend, Charley, rushes to beat me to opening my car door for me (my car, when I'm driving), to the point where it's embarrassing because it slows me down. But I let him, and he gets to feel gallant, as he was brought up that way. (And of course, my little ol' brain would bust if I had to remember how to open a door.)

The "women are weaker than men" issue doesn't really hold up to the "are you strong enough to open a door?" argument, though I know what dear Miss Manners has to say on the subject.

"Technically there is no such thing as accidental rudeness. [A] true insult, Miss Manners believes, must be intentional. The insulter must understand what is being expected, and do either something else or nothing at all."

I am sure the offenders who don't open the door aren't aware that they are insulting a true lady.

EDITED to insert "they" in the last sentence.

Of course, to complicate things, apparently a gentleman should enter a revolving door BEFORE a lady, to get it going for her (I believe I saw that in Miss Manners one time). But NObody knows this.

Fly

I know it, and I do it if I am with people I know, but there is a limit to my powers of concentration when it comes to strangers. As I have mentioned before, what I do really enjoy is letting a significantly older person into a revolving door first, then sticking my hands in my pockets and letting them do the hard work.

It is not up there with shoving a tourist down an escalator, but it lightens my day.

Yes, but should a gentleman offer a lady a Tiparillo?

Oh yes, please.

"Good manners" are never "old fashioned".

"Nowadays", they're more and more uncommonly called "common courtesy".

Query: What is the right amount of cleavage?

London is having a mini heatwave (okay, not hot for any other city that I've lived in but hot for London) which I'd normally be happy about. But I happen to work in a listed building whose original builders seemed to think constructing an art deco building with huge windows that DO NOT OPEN was a good idea.

Now I'm stuck in what feels like (I sit next to the atrium - sun pouring in) a sauna-greenhouse-oven all in one. The air conditioning which barely functions on a good day, is broken.

I'm wondering how hot my brain has to get before I suffer irreversible damage. I don't have that many brain cells to spare you know...

If nothing else, that's gotta be bad for the computers...

Since we've been going on about manners, it really pisses me off when people walk up/down the wrong side of the staircase. A friend once explained to me that reason it was particularly bad in NY is that many people don't drive so it doesn't occur to them to naturally stay to the right. But, this was something that I learned in grade school.

I just hurt a muscle in my neck trying to laugh quietly. And it wasn't even the Katie Holmes thread which finally did it.

Going to the dentist. Pain and expense coming right up.

It hath passethed. From midtown anyhow.

What's really annoying is that I no longer have a windowed wall - or any window at all - from which to watch the weather. Or the protest du jour, for that matter.

So I went to the Bowery today - we're looking for a new table for our dining nook. We want one of those French cafe tables - a black cast iron base with 3 or 4 legs - a central pedastal, on which will sit a round piece of marble.

I found a store that has exactly what we want - actually they have 5 or 6 that would be just fine, with different designs and levels of elaborateness - and the prices are good.

So I said okay, I'd like to buy one of these please. I'll pay cash.

I have to order it ma'am.

Okay, fine, I'm in no rush.

But the company won't send me just one.

So can I buy the one that's here on the floor?

No ma'am, that's the floor sample and if you take it, I won't have a sample for other people to see.

So what you're saying is that I can't buy a table?

That's right, ma'am, you can't buy one.

Hmm.

Aside from that, I love browsing in those big Bowery lighting/furniture stores. It's amazing what you find hidden away. There are some beautiful old bars, for example. Just can't figure out whether, if we bought one, it would go in the munchkin's bedroom or one of the bathrooms.

Bizarre, omni.

Clogged ear just as I'm about to leave for vacation. I don't have time to go to the doctor to get it unclogged, so I'm hoping lots of gum will get me through the 4 flights.

Stephanie...use some nasal decongestant spray before your flights. Recommended to me by my Dr. when I suffered intense ear pain from a clogged ear and it worked great.

Elves must have come into my room in the middle of the night and shrank the waists of all my jeans and pants by about 1 inch! They're all too tight and there's no other possible explanation!

I'm annoyed that the Annoyance Board continues to get more posts than the Cheerful Board.

OUCH!

SB (shot self in foot!)

The toilet is no longer working.

They mean retail buyers who want to buy 100 tables?