Just make the buttonholes slightly smaller.

Daisy, honey, it's so easy to do that yourself. Hell, bring the blouse over and I'll do it for you.

Burned myself and then cut myself right over the burn.

Wear a sweater over it.

My 12 year old daugther comes home from school yesterday and she brings up a conversation about music. She goe's on to ask me if I ever heard the song Candy Shop by 50 cent. Needless to say I can not say I have so I went on to ask questions.
She say's its a nasty song dad, so I ask her where had she heard it.

My music teacher brings the CD in class and plays it.
Now I run a search and find the lyric's and now I'm in a state of panic and and to be honest down right pissed.

I've been on and off with the school all morning trying to get to the bottom of this with no luck so far.

Tell me. Am I overreacting ? I truely believe any teacher that will expose kids to this CD has a problem. I don't care if its a Teacher, Clergy or whatever, it's a warning that something is wrong with this man.

Robert

I chipped my front tooth (on a champagne bottle, no less). I've never chipped a tooth before.

and of course, this means GOING TO THE DENTIST.

A 6:30 AM surprise: kitty puked during the night. But not on the wooden or tile floors, oh no. On my suede boots and, a double header, on the underwear I threw on the floor when undressing last night. Blech.

That sounds bad. Like a teacher with the wrong...focus.

You got a good dentist? I love my dentist, in case you need one.

Today for no good reason I woke up singing "I like dreamin'" and every time I am not actively using my grey matter, it's there again.

I like dreamin.... cuz dreamin can make you mine. I like dreamin.... Just closin' my eyes and feelin' fine....

WTF? How can a song I've not heard since the 70s be in my head?

Clients. Feh.

THEY directed the voiceover and guess what...they don't like the voiceover. Apparently I'm not supposed to point that out.

I don't know - how many pop songs do you hear twenty times without knowing what they're about. The teacher should just be considerably more alert to the issue. A friend of mine who has taught dance classes for children used to spend a good deal of time listening to CDs to find things suitable for the lessons which had harmless lyrics.

Louie Louie

I am trying to keep an open mind but its not my strong point I admit when it comes to my little girl.

I posted the lyrics below.



Candy Shop"
by 50 Cent (featuring Olivia)


[Intro: 50 Cent]
Yeah...
Uh huh
So seductive

[Chorus: 50 Cent & Olivia]
[50 Cent]
I take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)
[Olivia]
I'll take you to the candy shop
Boy one taste of what I got
I'll have you spending all you got
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)

[Verse 1: 50 Cent]
You can have it your way, how do you want it
You gon' back that thing up or should i push up on it
Temperature rising, okay lets go to the next level
Dance floor jam packed, hot as a teakettle
I'll break it down for you now, baby it's simple
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
In the hotel or in the back of the rental
On the beach or in the park, it's whatever you into
Got the magic stick, I'm the love doctor
Have your friends teasin you 'bout how sprung I gotcha
Wanna show me how you work it baby, no problem
Get on top then get to bouncing round like a low rider
I'm a seasons vet when it come to this shit
After you broke up a sweat you can play with the stick
I'm tryin to explain baby the best way I can
I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands (ha ha)

[Chorus]

[Bridge: 50 Cent & Olivia]
Girl what we do (what we do)
And where we do (and where we do)
The things we do (things we do)
Are just between me and you (oh yeah)

[Verse 2: 50 Cent]
Give it to me baby, nice and slow
Climb on top, ride like you in the rodeo
You ain't never heard a sound like this before
Cause I ain't never put it down like this
Soon as I come through the door she get to pullin on my zipper
It's like it's a race who can get undressed quicker
Isn't it ironic how erotic it is to watch em in thongs
Had me thinking 'bout that ass after I'm gone
I touch the right spot at the right time
Lights on or lights off, she like it from behind
So seductive, you should see the way she wind
Her hips in slow-mo on the floor when we grind
As Long as she ain't stoppin, homie I aint stoppin
Drippin wet with sweat man its on and popping
All my champagne campaign, bottle after bottle its on
And we gon' sip til every bubble in the bottle is gone

It's obvious when you read them. I assume he didn't.

Robert, I sympathize completely, as I try to protect my girl from all kinds of nastiness, including hip hop, rap, and that whole bitch/ho/pimp mentality.

However, and not to defend the teacher at all, I myself have a kind of aural dyslexia that often makes me unable to comprehend lyrics in music. I don't know how to explain this, but I've mentioned it before. I can be fooled into thinking a song is upbeat and sweet—"The Good-bye Look" by Steely Dan, I only learned last year, is about a mob hit and not a breaking up song.

But assuming it's a hip hop song, surely some of the lyrics would have jumped out as being completely inappropriate for playing to students—the words "shit," "nympho," and "ass" being prime examples. And if those words didn't stand out, the general language of the genre should have indicated that the teacher should have exercised more caution than he did.

I would be plenty pissed off if I were in your shoes.

It ain't romantic poetry. With all the good things that exist to play or read, it doesn't make sense that teacher would pick this particular song. If he's hip enough to know who 50 Cent is, I think he's hip enough to know to screen the lyrics before deciding to play the record. "Why?" seems like a valid question.

I will likely have to take his explanation at face value and give him the benefit of the doubt. Twenty five years ago I would have not been so understanding.

Or the other choice is to pull her out of the school.

See I am just such a firm believer in what Maya Angelou as often said.
'When someone shows themselves to you the first time.Believe them!'

No one in my immediate family can grasp that any email headlined 'please forward this to everyone you know' is most likely bullshit or worse. I just sent my sister the snopes. com link debunking her latest forwarded idiot missive, and she's arguing with me, the little snip.

Language and context, dawl, language and context.

It's snowing. Again.

Just discovered I've become squeamish about dealing with live lobsters

v

Where to start? Raging headache? Blizzard? Work? Life in general? And why is it, when thirty or forty patrol cars are racing up the avenue, the ones in the rear have to sound their sirens too? Are they inviting the patrol cars ahead of them to get out of the fucking way?

Life in general, a fine place to start.

How about clients in general . . . no wait, people in general.

People pronouncing c-a-r-a-m-e-l as "car-mel". Tyler Florence will forever have my admiration as one of the few TV chefs to use the right pronounciation.

Carmel is a mountain in Israel.

Mt. Carmel is on Arthur Avenue, not Israel. Kick-ass wine shop.

right, it should be pwonounced cowmel.